Feedback

I got some feedback on my uni novel chapter. And... well, there was mixed success. All the comments had something to do with voice and character - most often, how the voice interacted with character. Apparently, they're too close, making it difficult to tell when the narrator is speaking and when the character is thinking.

It was a reasonable complaint. This imposition of the narrator's voice over the character obscures the characters dualistic personality which I was hoping to highlight. How to fix this though, is a bit of a difficult problem. One way that I feel I could do this is to make the narrator more judgmental - or even to just make the narrator more explicit. Nothing wrong with describing the character, I guess. But I would like to make the reader do some work to figure him out.

Anyway, I suppose I should actually work on that now, rather than just musing about it.